| life is good. |
[Oct. 23rd, 2009|12:05 am] |
im going to move in with my brother next month.
im getting a kitten, something that will give me the love humans cant seem to give me.
i come off as an attention whore by that statement but whatever.
i know what i want and i know who i am, and love being myself.
i DESPISE , however, how much i let other people get to me at times, i want to one day move forward and never look back, and realize some will follow
do not swallow the tongue, for everything speaks for you with every breath within these lungs.
=)
i cant wait to prioritize my life better. i need more motivation to make music, and write more poetry , instead of sitting on my ass all day.
i love my job but just cant let it consume my entire life will awake.
i want to feel this feeling more, ALIVE and well loved, all this emotion for and coming within myself.
i want more pride, and accept the old me has died.
i NEED independence and boundaries, lines, borders, people CANT cross. i hate letting my guard down, i lead the wrong people across the bridge to take advantage of my kindness. |
|
|
| I LOVE HOROSCOPES SOMETIMES |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|09:22 pm] |
Your Horoscope - Today, October 15, 2009
You may find it difficult to get your ideas across to other people today, lyle. People's narrow-mindedness blinds them to your creativity. Is it possible that you have grown and matured more than the people around you? Do you still share the same values? Are you in a space that will allow you to grow and mature as a person? You may find yourself asking these kinds of questions about your life today...
this horoscope is a mind fuck and i love it, because it is so accurate and applies to my life as of this day today.
i hate when people judge the book by its cover. |
|
|
| life is amazing. |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|04:54 pm] |
i have two really good friends in my life now
james partridge and jonny beamer [Sp?]
they make me feel alive and loved
i wish i had more emotions to put down.
been meeting a lot of people lately and i love it
new group of relaxed, open minded chill laid back people=)
so many drunken nights in the past week its so fun , im glad im responsible about it and only do it on my days off
i have two days off work and tomorrow is my last day off, way stoked |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|11:06 pm] |
i seriously love the fact i have fans that support my whole afro look.
not even my intentions of getting attention from people, its ridiculous how many people comment on my hair.
these two chicks seriously stopped me and my friend and tapped me on the shoulder. she asked she could take a picture with me, so i said fuck it why not. they both were really attractive, and i asked why? so thats it? take a picture and never talk to me again?
they were busy doing their own thing so i let them off easy but none the less it was awesome taking a picture with them, made me feel special for a day haha
 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|03:01 am] |
life is going good
just stoked that i dont have to open at work at 4 am in the morning for once! =)
i hate avoiding my lj bc i dont have anything to say, theres always something for me to talk about per entry and day if i felt like it, thoughts ive been wondering
ive been into philosophy lately, its pretty bad ass to look at life in different perspectives
as well, spirituality, the after life, god existing or not existing
i hate being into his life and then out of it, i need to find a common grounds so i can live my life comfortably.
because i have huge fear and anxiety of god right now , its ridiculous.
theres nothing im doing that would cause me to go to jail or anything ridiculous like that, but i hate being in the gray and not the white or black, both being into god all the way and black not at all, im halfway conscious of his being
i know theres something out there, i just have to figure it out and follow the right path, id hate to think god would send me to hell for not believing in jesus and all these crazy stories.
i just need a more presentable person to present this stuff to me in an entertaining way
people give off the vibe god is so boring and all that, when it clearly isnt true, if he created us and this beautiful world, [now torn to shit because of humans] imagine how he is as a person, or his personality, his means, if he created us and we have all these emotions and knowledge of our awareness it could only tell us how fun he can be with humor and everything.
i just dont like the label of christianity all about being proffesional and all serious, it just seems there are too many boundaries they can not cross at all and theres no time for fun =/ |
|
|
| dear opposite gender i surrender |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|06:32 pm] |
best poem ive ever written, despite all you hypocrites as fingers hiding behind those mittens
why does your gender treat me like the bartender
only temporarily satisfying me until i surrender my tip
modern society connected like this is purely at its hip in
existence in connection to bully with the losers[me] lip
now you might see the world from my perspective
can you now reconsider in thought with calm thoughts, be recollective?
answer me this, for i feel the question i ask youll always miss
not a day in your life could you give into truth, is this so hard to resist?
so be pure and clench those fists, put your heart into these
umbilical chords of life and risk abortion or reconstruction
caress my spirit if you please with your overcooked seduction
know in the end the mess you now create will cause volcanic eruption
its your choice to do with what youve got in your voice;
to take away from a soul so dry,to build up new towers to moist from destruction |
|
|
| FYI |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|12:14 am] |
entries of mine are random-ized meaning some entries are for anyone to read about my life and others are friends only so only people i trust can view my personal life
so if you really care id recommend you getting an lj! and adding me! |
|
|
| blahhh |
[Sep. 24th, 2009|07:10 pm] |
ate shit really bad on my skateboard, pissed me off some, came in on my day off work and thats what i get?
asewljkfnwrkjfnrjkbn AHHHH
oh well, its doing a lot better now.
not too much to update on, despite recent drama with some roomates =/
im moving in with my brother joey november 1st! im pretty stoked to be honest
a little nervous because of past occurences living with the guy, i wish he didnt drink so much
i am happy to move in with his buddy D. though
that guy and me got hella close a few months back and we talk about crazy shit and go really deep , its fucking awesome
nowadays im staying away from romance,
but if i were ever given the chance,
i would regret not saving the last dance
for the first, but who am i to go for when
my maturity and career struck me in a trance
guess ill freelance and dream away
girls can be drama anywho, im kinda glad i can talk to whoever i want and be my own person without being judged, or corrupted or mislead, tired of a cold shoulder carrying weight on me like a ton of boulders
the older i get i realize new trends come in, slowly but surely, and i dont like it, but whatevs its a part of life! |
|
|
| much better |
[Sep. 16th, 2009|01:25 am] |
i got out today and spoke with several friends and felt so much better.
establishing that deep connection once again, engaging in social conversation is my thing for sure.
girls in my life really arent necessary , blocking me from my path to a good life honestly.
i still will fall for any girl along the way, but until then i need to focus.
hung out with a 64 year old hippy today, it was pretty bad ass.
me and chris nunez hung out at dennys and were deep in thought of the world as a whole, sharing our experiences and laughing about things.
i need more friends like him in my life for sure.
life here i come =) |
|
|
| not to mention.... |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|04:08 am] |
yesterday was an amazing day.
started off shitty with a co worker pissing me off but i got over it and caught up with an old friend
i realized how good of a friend he truly was and how we share a lot of the same outlooks on life.
sure hes a gamer nerd but mitch is cool as fuck. i cant wait till i open up with him more and appreciate life for what it is, and talking about our modern day and society.
we went to the mall and went to a bunch of places.
walked into this really cool hippie themed store and met the coolest hippie lady from the 60s who owned it.
i thrive off of women and men that were into that movement, not persay those who dressed like hippies or any of that shit, which i am way into, but how things were back then
i want to go back in time only because people were so fucking friendly then
violence was so unecessary and everyone was so chill, at least thats what i get from others insights about the 60s
maybe california isnt the place for me to be. i want to leave it so bad, but im so close minded and afraid that i cant move on to bigger and better things.
on a good note, today is day 8 since ive quit cigarettes.
if those of you who are few who read i must admit ive had this pattern of quitting before.
but i always say im quitting starting now, and it never goes through
this time i just didnt say anything to anyone in case of embarrassment and being ashamed in case i broke and gave into my inner stupid habits
but im doing good so far and i couldnt tell you the last time i seriously quit for a week or more outside of the fact that i have money and can get one from a roomate or co worker or a store at anytime
i love that i can be next to someone who is smoking a pack and it doesnt eat at me too badly, its very strong and meaningful to me i can withstand that. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|04:01 am] |
lately ive been trying to figure the why of things of my life
the anxiety i have, how i worry so much about what other people think about me
how the way i dress, i make bigger of a deal than it really isnt.
clothes are clothes realistically, just a materialistic possesion of ones self.
i constantly complain about shit lately, why people dont accept me for me
thanks to others inputs though, i realize that this shit gets old and that i should move on with my life
i cant wait till things pick back up again.
i want to go back to school, learn piano now!
ive got the proper shit too, one chillin in my fucking room.
theres this girl i have strong feelings for, and i really cant wait to meet up with =)
shes really awesome and has a lot of positive ongoing good things about her
and im not going to fuck this up like i did with my last serious 2 and a half year relationship
ive realized lately the good things i see in people i interact with daily.
mainly those i work with to be honest, lately ive been stuck and spun off nostalgia off my computer.
"i cant wait till things pick back up again"
-that quote right there is so stupid at the same time. i shouldnt be waiting, and applying myself.
ive been telling myself lately you gotta get up man and do something besides work and your internet bullshit life at home. sure you are saving a lot of money by not going out and doing anything. but theres nature out there today and every day, go out and view it and love life for what it is.
when im old i can get away with this shit being inside a lot being weakened and what not, but this is the prime of my life. where i should be living life to the fullest. |
|
|
| noticed |
[Sep. 13th, 2009|08:20 pm] |
when i update more often i express how i truly feel,
and of course comes bad days in life, or times and places
life still is overall good
i really wish this girl i met recently didnt ever exist in my life at all at times
i am so impatient and stubborn when it comes to waiting its ridiculous
it appears theres some things i see i cant change about myself.
im hoping in the mere future that things look better or go back to normal in the romance department
of my life because i dont feel this is fair to me
that or i realize im so lucky to have this special feeling back in my life and acknowledge someone very beautiful loves me for me and that i should do something about it and carry on with my life and be patient
everyone else has moved on in life romance wise or not and i feel as if i havent.
im always stuck in the past talking about old things and places with people.
we seem to be a vhs tape, for we cant conform to a dvd and be futuristic, make new movies and memories. |
|
|
| let me clarify |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|02:34 am] |
the last entry, which was viewable to certain people.
i dont do drugs, i hardly ever drink.
its been three days as of now that ive had a cigarette. i was a pack a day smoker, ill be saving $160 a month just quitting, more than that to be honest.
im saving up a shit load of money, possibly for canada one day =)
my hairs getting longer, and i got a new look to me nowadays, and i feel me again inside =) [despite phases in my life]
my music career is getting there, matter of time of me getting off my ass and finding ways to learn some keyboard!
poetic wise, i aspire to put more poems into play, a lot more
i cant wait to start my music project, i just need to save up more money!
work is going good, i feel im improving a lot on helping others in my work environment
ive been a stay at home dad lately, cept im not a dad haha. i like being at home more and dicking around doing nothing, that way i dont waste money on stupid shit that doesnt benefit me.
cant wait to go to grossmont next spring, life here i come!=) |
|
|
| life is so good |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|02:25 am] |
wow
ive noticed lately there are quite a few women in my life, and i realize when more than one is interested in me that i dont want to be in a relationship haha
im glad i havent given in yet or even gone out on a date with any of the women yet.
how crazy it is the diversity in these women!
one has two kids and works with me
the other is pregnant, kid on the way in three months or less
and one is 29 and lives in canada
WTF? right?
haha
ive my reasons for not pursuing any of them but they all have an interest in common in one way or another
i think being singles the best thing for now, but only because i now know that women out there will love me for me, and not for what i appear to be
im a loserrrrrrr
im a loserrrrrr
haha gotta love the beatles
i didnt come on here either just to talk about that either, im not quite done
im undecided where i want to spend my vacation to be completely honest!
i want to go out of country if not state for sure
stupid to take a week off work and just chill at home
why not take half your week out of state and the other 3 days left recovering?
im glad that im on a clear path nowadays, and that i am sane!
ive noticed my poetry is getting a lot better and easier with style
"ive got such prowess, woman i dont think you would allow this, for your kiss aint somethin im gonna miss
"
your a big mess, and i cant put up anymore your stress. the more you lack to confess, more i bloom to success!"
totally just made that up too!
ima update more , its so much fun=) |
|
|
| yo! |
[Aug. 30th, 2009|01:43 am] |
its things like these that make me enjoy life
no one will understand the essence or meaning behind this picture but me and the guy involved. i love sharing inside jokes with people and making pictures come to life, and everyones reaction to it. makes memories stay in your head especially when came back to life when visited to.
the thing i love about myself is that i bring humor out of people and make times a lot more fun, sometimes its hard or i cant do it, but i love making people laugh and enjoy life much better.
im starting to get more solid and connecting with friends and am loving life.
i hope things stay this way for a long time, its times like these where a woman would be nice, but im happy without one for once! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2009|12:40 am] |
i am happy to have my laptop, but its starting to become a drug, ever so addicting
i need to get outdoors more, and be an outsider
i want to use this laptop for more than entertainment
i need this to sharpen my career.
use it as a tool.
i wanted it to help exacerbate things, and i need to have a balance on it, and still have time for friends and have a life, ya know.
works going really good, and my sleeping habits fucked.
im hoping to be single for a long time, truly i do.
deep inside i know i want a relationship, but i need to know that all it will do is fuck with my life and i dont need things like that to throw me off, look what happened last time =/
i dont truly look at it that way, for i am a lot stronger and have grown from that, i guess you could say im more so waiting to meet someone, instead of trying to meet someone special, if you catch my drift. |
|
|
| not so much it matters |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|11:20 pm] |
but i made a new lj for poetry my past and new passion again
livejournal.com/users/utopiosity
in the mean time, back to personal use.
lifes been good, and ive been really into philisophy.
meeting new people, ocean beach is an awesome area to do this
it just sucks because a lot of people out there just smoke weed and drink 24/7
these people tend to be very open minded friendly and outgoing but it just kind of bums me out there arent people out there like me, who dont do that shit every waking day of life, but oh well.
i guess ill just accept it for what it is.
its funny how theres times where life gives you limes instead of lemons
giving you that rotten taste in yer mouth like an under ripened persimmon |
|
|
| as ironic as it sounds |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|10:31 pm] |
the beatles seriously know what im talking about
When you told me you didn't need me anymore
Well you know I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me you didn't need me anymore
Well you know I nearly fell down and died
funny how a band and their music reminded you so much of a girl in a bad way then you get over that person and make the music a good vibe, and now you like the band for the band, and not because someone in your life made it worthwhile |
|
|
| hello life!=) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|01:05 pm] |
life is amazing right now
ive been meeting a lot of people and have came out of my shell. hatched rather
im still way into poetry, just BOUGHT my macbook! way stoked on life.
trying to find God again, but not so much in a religious sense. or going to church. but im working on it
ive come to realize my past has made me who i am today and i hope things stay this way.
i miss shannon and all but have realized maybe we werent even meant to be friends, period. but i think i might try one more time to talk things out with her if and when i run into her again. a lot of shit went down after we broke up and it was all due to karma.
oh well!
so heres to new beginnings!=))) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2009|07:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
wait, they dont love you like i love you. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lylemootz's journal
